Nothing Personal

The End of Suffering


where is absence of desire
once I dreamed there would only be bliss
now I am in awe of the ordinary
now I am content with longing or no longing
desires do not disturb the source of all desire
life and death carry on as they always have
and always will
only the dreamer is gone
behind the flow of imagination
beyond any effort to be still
dancing in the ebb and flow or attention
more present than the breath
I find the origins of my illusions
only the dreamer is gone
the dream never ends
Desiring what is



Buddha said that desire is the root of all suffering.
Desire is a very juicy word.
It has to be if it has this much power.
He didn't say most of the suffering or much of the suffering but all of it.
Every single contraction of being is caused by desire.
Because desire is such a powerful force, it is worth looking into.

One obvious thing about desire that often gets overlooked is that every desire is a lie. Every desire is based on the idea that things can be different than they are, and that is just not true. Things have never been different than they are in any moment. Things are always the way they are. You can see how this lie might come to be because things are always different than they were Because things are always changing, we think we can decide how it will be next, which is another lie. Just look in your own experience: how often have things turned out the way you wanted them to? Unfortunately, every now and then it works and we get what we want, so we get hooked on desiring-like playing a slot machine. But, like a slot machine, it's a matter of random luck: if you play the game of desire enough, once in a while you will win.

When people see this lie, they become more accepting of the way things are. It's funny, though, their acceptance often has the quality of defeat or resignation: I'll accept it, but I don't have to like it! I invite you to consider another possibility. It's a strange possibility, but the results are wonderful, and that is to desire what

is meet what is with the same passion you may have had for what could be or what should be. Meet what is with that kind of passion, with the same force that is able to generate all the suffering in the world. Bring that force to bear on the truth instead of on a lie.

Gratitude is another word for this way of meeting what is in the moment. Gratitude is different than acceptance. Acceptance lacks passion and juice. That's why, even though people may see that things are the way they are, they often go back to the juice of wanting things to be different. At least desiring has drama, intensity, passion, and life-even if it does result in suffering. The other possibility is desiring what is wholeheartedly-truly saying yes to this moment exactly the way it is right now-bringing that kind of passion and aliveness to the way things are. This results in instant unlimited happiness because every desire for what is is always fulfilled!

The reason people don't make this choice to want what is is because it is so simple. Nothing is needed. People shy away from this because, in wanting what is there isn't anything left for "you" to do. That is the price to be paid: to truly want what is you have to give up the idea of being someone who can change what ss. There is no longer a place for that. Changing anything would be working at cross-purposes to what you desire.

Then you come up against the inescapable paradox that even your desire for things to be different is something that you need to desire. You can't leave that out. You can't leave out the desires that arise-for a relationship or for money or for spiritual awakening or for the Truth. You have to meet them with the same gratitude.

Seeking the Truth is just another more subtle, sophisticated, dressed-up desire because the Truth is right here, right now-no seeking is required. The Truth has never been anywhere but right here, right now. People who are seeking the Truth are really seeking a better truth than the one that is here. The invitation is to meet even that seeking with gratitude. You have to want to seek the Truth if that is what is present, even though that seeking is based on the lie that Truth isn't already here. You still just open your arms and say yes to that seeking if it is present.
You are never done being grateful because what is is always changing, always new. Every moment is a completely new chance to be grateful. Whatever is happening has never happened before: every emotion, thought, sensation, and experience arises completely fresh and new in the now. The opportunity to meet whatever is arising with gratitude and to passionately desire it, is always available. You never run out of things to be grateful for.

Something interesting happens when you desire what is you begin to desire what will be. You find yourself naturally wanting what is going to happen next anyway. In desiring what is you step into where it is going-you step into the flow, into this mysteriously unfolding, ever-new moment. This powerful force called desire can either cause all the suffering in the world or-when turned to right here, right now-become a power for being in the flow, for beingness.

One thing about flow is that sometimes the shortest path between two points is through hell, so that's the way the flow will go. So, if you think that being in the flow looks like a flat tire being fixed fast, you might discover that flow has a different idea about how long you'll be on the side of the highway and how late you'll be to your next appointment.

It's not up to you how many challenges arise in your life. This is devastating news to who you think you are. The good news is that it is up to something that is profoundly wise, something that can see that sometimes the shortest path between two points goes through hell-and sometimes through heaven. It has no preference for heaven or hell; it just sees where the unfoldment needs to go and doesn't hold back. That is what has been happening all along anyway. Has your life ever stopped unfolding in spite of how often it hasn't gone the way you wanted it to? It still goes, right? Something ing is steering it, unfolding it.
It is not some Truth "out there" that we need to be grateful for, some Truth that will show up sometime in the future. It's right here, right now-just the way everything is right now. Recognizing that whatever is, is only here for this moment and will never be exactly this way again gives us the passion to meet it with gratitude.
Often, the reason we don't dive in with gratitude in moments of suffering or pain is because we think that if we do, things will stay the same. We think that if we love this moment the way it is and all of its pain (if that is what is present), we will get stuck in the pain, when the opposite is true: only when we resist what is does it stick around. If, instead, we embrace the moment, it naturally unfolds into the next new experience.

It seems to make sense to go to battle with our conditioning because it is so obviously a lie and because it doesn't feel enlightened to have it; but fighting it makes it into something, as if it says something about who you really are. If you embrace it instead, you can see how ridiculous it is and laugh at it, and it loses its potency. It is no longer a problem; it no longer controls you. It arises and you say, "Great, wonderful, what a gas!" It never has a chance to turn into something called suffering. An event occurs, the conditioned reaction to it appears and a complete enjoyment of both happens; so any possibility of suffering is immediately swallowed. We all are familiar with this process because it happens whenever something goes right. Every moment can be like this, where things show up, but nothing is a problem.

What cuts through suffering is simply choosing to love what is in every moment. It's not more complicated than that. You just meet whatever is arising with passion and gratitude, no matter how often it appears-because that isn't up to you. If it were, your old conditioning would have been done a long time ago, right? The invitation is to find out for yourself what happens when you are willing to waste your desire on what is . Don't take my word for it. For just this moment, meet whatever is present with a passionate embrace, and then see if you can find any suffering here.








What if even your strongest emotions aren't personal? Is anything personal? What if this experience we are having as a body and mind is more like a radio that receives things rather than creates or generates them? You need a radio to play the songs that are passing through this room now, right? All this experience is floating around, and this radio called "you" is playing these songs called desire, fear, love, envy. Even resistance is just one more song called "I want to turn off the radio." What if your internal experiences are not personal but more like something a musician recorded years ago and being played now?

Even the love songs aren't personal. Even the very dramatic, very sad, very happy, or very romantic ones aren't personal. There is nothing wrong with them; they just aren't yours. You can still pay attention to them, but there is no reason to get invested in trying to change them or get them to stay around. Every song on the radio eventually ends—even "Bye-Bye? Miss American Pie," which was 17 minutes long. It would go on and on, but eventually there would be another commercial. A radio is a great metaphor because a radio isn't like a CD player, which you can program to play what you want it to play. What plays on the radio is not up to you. Sometimes, it is a happy song, sometimes it is a sad one, sometimes it is an inspiring one. The Mystery is so wise that it knows exactly what song to put on in this moment. It decides what song gets played, and once it has been played, you can't hang on to it. Just being present while it is being played is the best you can do. That is all you can do. Paradoxically, this recognition that everything that arises on this radio called "you" is impersonal makes it easier to pay attention to what is arising because, if it's not personal, there is no reason to hold back from it.

Another huge mystery is: What is aware of what's playing on this radio? Then, you can ask an even stranger question: Is there a boundary between what is aware of what's playing on the radio and what's playing on the radio? Is what is hearing the radio and experiencing all of the experiences actually separate from the experiences themselves? It turns out that the listener who is hearing these tunes is not separate from this Mystery. Rather, the songs are streaming forth out of the Mystery, and the listening is streaming forth out of the same Mystery. There is a huge ground, or Presence, in which everything happens. The surprise is that this ground is not a place of knowing but rather a place of open-eyed discovery. There is no knowing ahead of time what will be played; you just discover in the moment the next song comes on.

---